Back in April of 2024, it had been a few months since I had moved back to Mumbai after spending 7 years in the US (and South America). To be honest, it was a difficult change for me. I had spent the entirety of my adult life in the US where the culture and way of life is significantly different from how things are in Navi Mumbai.
What I struggled with the most was how difficult it was to meet people my age and make friends. I've always relied on social gatherings (be it some kind of fest, local event, or dinner parties) to meet people and make friends, but none of that seemed to exist here. I had been back for 6 months and was able to meet no new people and had made zero new friends. Friends from high school had either moved away, or we had grown to become different people.
So I said fuck it and decided to make my own social community. And thus, with the help of my girlfriend, ReGroop.co was born on May 6, 2024. (I no longer own the domain)
The Beginning
Having been part of other communities in the past, I knew we couldn't just make it an open community. There had to be some barrier to entry—so I added a sign up form: people had to enter their name, email and phone number to get invited to the WhatsApp community.
I made a post on the local subreddit announcing the start of this community and that people were welcome to join. As our first social event, we decided to meet for a casual dinner that Saturday at a local cafe.
I should mention that this was a free community, not paid.
The first event was a resounding success—20 strangers from the internet met for dinner and became friends.
The Middle
Both my girlfriend and I spent a lot of time and effort to keep up the engagement in the community, moderating conversations to keep things friendly for everyone, vote kicking the odd weirdo, and most importantly organizing weekly events. We were organizing at least one event each week, sometimes two (not counting sports meetups).
At this point the community had grown to ~200 people, and let me tell you, organizing anything with that many people is no easy feat. If its a dinner we're planning, we need to make restaurant reservations days in advance to make sure we have enough tables. If its a bar crawl, we need to set the schedule, and make sure people aren't getting drunkenly left behind when bar-hopping.
First signs of problems: Entitlement and taking things for granted
Any time we were planning an event, we would announce polls for the time and place people wanted to meet.
Only a handful of folks would vote, the rest never took any action (but were very much active in the chats).
Once we established a time and place, we'd do another poll for headcount. This was important, because we had to figure out how many tables we needed.
In general, 6 people would vote yes, 5 no, and the rest wouldn't vote.
The problem is, on the day of the event, 20 people would show up. Beyond frustrating.
The worst part: A lot of people would show up and hang out for 2-3 hours but never order a single thing. And then when it was time, the onus was automatically on the organizers to pay the bill and figure out who needs to pay and how much.
What the hell?
First of all, if you're going to an establishment and using their services, the decent thing to do order something. We always met at places that were decently priced so people from all backgrounds could engage in social activity and make friends. I recount too many occurrences where tables of 10-20 spent 2 hours at a restaurant and had made 6-8 people's worth of orders.
Second, if you're dining with 20 people and someone else is paying the bill, the decent thing to do is to be okay with splitting the bill evenly because figuring out individual splits is a huge headache. Too many people coming to hang out in a group settings, ordering too little and then wanting to have individual splits—without helping figure the splits. Scummy behavior.
The final straw
The girlfriend and I had spotted this pattern early on, and eventually a few members did too and would approach us in private, thanking us for putting in so much effort into building the community.
But not one of them offered to help organize events or gatherings.
In fact, we had people complain: "Hey we aren't having as many events as we used to, are you running out of steam?"
Yeah, we've run out of steam. It had been a thankless job that had stretched on for almost a year. We had no financial gain (I actually lost money), and didn't find too many people we vibed with.
In fact, we made a grand total of one long term friend.
The entitlement and sheer audacity of the crowd made the whole thing sour for the both of us. So on May 6, 2025, we announced the community will be shutting down in 7 days. We made our thoughts and feelings known to the members—which was received well by some of the members, they sympathized. But I got the feeling that most continue to feel entitled to have someone else organize, and mange social events for them.
We received some push back to not delete the community, and I eventually agreed to do so.
ReGroop is still somewhat active today, with ~200 members in the community.
Final Thoughts
I have mixed feelings about ReGroop.
It began as a big, exciting project—I was in dire need of a social life, and we had a real opportunity to make a significant change in the social life of thousands of people in their 20s. The community birthed tens of new friendships, some so significant that one couple has invited 10 or so members as their wedding guests.
At the same time, I feel heavy disappointment. The entitlement and audacity of the crowd was something I never expected, and to this day I don't fully understand the basis of it. Regardless, it taught me a lot about the Indian society, the problems that plague it, and the culture and values that the Indian society takes pride in—for better or worse.
Personally, I am of the opinion that the Indian society and the values it upholds has been in a nosedive for a long time now (not unlike most other societies), and will continue to be in a nosedive for a very long time until a catastrophic cultural event takes place (unlike most other societies).
End of rant.